Today I'm just having a pity party for myself I guess. Some days are harder than others being away from my family. We moved to Iowa some time ago and EVERYONE is back home in the Tri-State area (Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana) near Cincinnati. There was a death in our extended family this past week and I wanted to go home so bad, I wanted to be with my family, not just to see them and comfort them but for a selfish reason too. I guess I needed to see them and be comforted that they're still there. Even with all of today's technology there is still nothing like feeling the arms of someone you love wrapped around you and seeing their actual face in person, feeling their energy. My parents are getting older too, my dad just had a triple bypass last year. That was so scary, I'll never forget how he looked after the surgery when he was on the ventilator. They tell you what he'll look like but nothing can really prepare you for the shocking reality of it. I want to be home so bad, I want to be with my family so bad. Is it so wrong to feel that way? I'm here with my husband and my 13 year old step-daughter but I feel like I'm all alone. I'm going to be 44 years old, why do I feel like this? I feel like an alien and my "lifeforce" is being drained because I'm away from my planet. Obviously God has me here for a reason, I know this, I've already seen the HUGE miracles in my husband especially. Oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? I'm not a 3 year old that needs her mommy! Is this what I'm supposed to learn? How to be alone? How to live without my family? Why is it me? Why was I the one sent away? Why did I have to move? Why did my husband lose his job? Why did we have to lose our house? Lots of people don't live near their families right? Lots of people don't even like their families!! Send them away!
I can do this! ....... I do all things through Christ who strengthens me! .... Dear God please help me I pray...........
My family in 2009 when we left, it's grown more since then!
MY Grandma - she's 91 now!
My brother and his wife
My sister, her husband and my niece
My Mom and Dad
I love them and miss them all so much!
God bless them all and keep them safe!
Amen
The thought came to me as I read this - I know you said you saw the miracle in your husband, but have you tried asking God for your own miracle? To find your own purpose in this new place?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you already have, but if not, it's worth a shot, right?
{{ hugs }}